The holidays always make me take a look at where I am in my life. Maybe it’s the time spent with family and friends, or maybe it’s the new year starting soon, but I’ve been very contemplative over the past few days. It could be, in part, that my brother gave me a book for Christmas called a Nothing Book. It looked like a used book to me until he pointed out that it was my old journal, one that was begun on July 17th 1986. Here’s what I wrote on that day at 3:52 a.m.:
And a star shone in the sky
and a star shone in my heart,
then the two began to sing together
a wonderful song.
So I listened, that I might learn
I heard other stars join in harmony
and the song became more beautiful
as I listened.
Then the deep of the ocean waves
and the calm of the sea played
so the song became a symphony
carried on the wings of the wind.
I listened and was lifted.
Across the waves I danced,
among the stars I played,
amid the wonder of the music of the
universe I learned joy.
In the dark watch of the night I
Sometimes when you wake up in the wee hours of the morning it’s like that. You feel the rhythm of the world in the beat of your heart and the stars are near, the ocean is at your fingertips, and you’re dancing in the dark. I learned that at twenty, now I’m forty-two and I remember that old familiar feeling.